From the Files of “I Can’t Make This Stuff Up”

MADISON, Wis. – A Madison man has won his fight to wear a pasta strainer on his head for his driver’s license photo.The state wasn’t too keen about Michael Schumacher’s desire to wear the colander on his head for the photo. Schumacher got an attorney involved and the state granted his request, but told him to tip the strainer back so his full face could be seen.

Schumacher’s attorney, Derek Allen, says it’s a First Amendment issue because it involves the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He says similar cases have been resolved in favor of Pastafarians in Utah, Texas and Massachusetts.

Allen says it’s not up to the government to decide what qualifies as a religion.

strainer

Personally, I’m just beyond grateful that when I decide to wear one in my license photo, it will be available in my favorite color.

via Pasta strainer head gear OK for Wis. driver’s license | KARE11.com.

Minneapolis, MN…a local man has started a Go Fund Me page for Kanye West, because that poor, tortured soul is in debt to the tune of $53 million, and can’t someone help a starving artist out please? Clearly Kanye’s rant to Mark Zuckerberg on Twitter to bail him out by sending $1 Billion to him didn’t work (because we all know $60 or 100 million just clearly wouldn’t have been enough to clear that pesky little debt). In 4 days the page has raised an amazing $5,000. Now out of curiosity, an only for that reason, not because I give a crap, I googled Kim Kardashian’s net worth. It’s over $300 million.  For the love of God, people, shouldn’t a wife help her husband? For richer or poorer and all that? And can someone please make the Kardashians go away? I promise I’ll try to avoid ever writing about them again. Unless they give me fodder for a story, then all bets are off.

With a nod to Engvall, White, Foxworthy and the Cable Guy (does he even have a last name 🙂 ?) Here’s your signs…because in Minnesota, apparently even two signs aren’t enough to warn some motorists that you shouldn’t drive your vehicle onto the ice. Costs to recover a vehicle range from $1500-$5000, and of course the vehicle is a total loss.

And from around the countryCoach fired for spanking his rookies too hard. Is THAT what they’re calling it now [insert inappropriate snort, chortle and uncontrollable laughter here] as I’m thinking, I mean really, do we need to be discussing this in the press? Then I realized it was about hazing practices, and yes, we probably do, because there’s no place for that. But it was funny when I thought it was a new euphemism for, well, you know….

Conspiracy Theorists – oh boy, here they go again. Apparently the little beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey wasn’t murdered in the basement of her parents home, and the body in the basement wasn’t real, because she has grown up to become….wait for it….yep, Katy Perry! I can’t help but wonder who they speculate were the real parents of Donald Trump?  (Oh, come on. Don’t tell me it hadn’t crossed your evil and twisted minds for two seconds too! And you might as well admit it, it is funny.)

Happy weekend all!

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5 thoughts on “From the Files of “I Can’t Make This Stuff Up”

  1. The thought of having to spend money on that lawsuit with the colander is crazy. Then again, maybe I should wear one for my next driver’s license photo. It certainly couldn’t make it any worse…

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